Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
be right there i have to get my cape
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize