I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
