About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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