Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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