She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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