So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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