you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
