he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
