drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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