just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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