Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
