I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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