his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
