I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I need moral support for this bender
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize