We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Im part way to drunk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
