Your face is a jimmy john
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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