No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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