Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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