im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize