Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
