So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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