Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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