i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
