I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
