Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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