the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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