what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
