I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
