I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
