Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
