Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
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Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
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I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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