rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
