knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
