It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
