He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
