dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
