i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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