so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
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