Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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