I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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