I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
