I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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