genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
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i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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