false alarm. still invincible.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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