My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
