I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
