why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My bed smells like the plague
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
