Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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