Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
