Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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