There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
