I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
