I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
