You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
