Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
