Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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