Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
